For twenty years I was a “forever-dieter”: diets, breakdowns, calorie counting, a weight of 100–140 kg. I thought it was a matter of willpower. It turned out to be eating behavior. Here's how disordered eating works, how to spot it in yourself, and why a diet more often creates the problem than solves it.
When food becomes the enemy
Disordered eating is almost a hallmark of our culture. Label a food “forbidden” and it becomes forbidden fruit: thoughts about it won't let go, and a breakdown becomes a matter of time.
A diet itself is already a form of disordered eating. Research shows that on a moderate diet the risk of an eating disorder is five times higher, and on an extreme one — eighteen times. What's sold as the road to health often leads the opposite way.
I know this not from textbooks. I lost 50 kg three times, 20–30 kg several times, and 10 countless times. Every “diet” brought the weight back — and with it guilt and the thought that something was wrong with me.
How disordered eating differs from an eating disorder
Disordered eating is not a medical diagnosis. In the psychology of eating behavior the term describes a state between a healthy relationship with food and a clinical eating disorder (ED): anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder.
The difference is in frequency, severity, and the amount of distress. The signs of a disorder are already there, but the criteria for a diagnosis aren't yet. It's a gray zone where millions of people live — and where it's easiest to change something before it gets worse.
Behind disordered eating there's usually not hunger but emotion. Food becomes a way to cope with anxiety, fatigue, boredom. A person focuses on weight and calories to distract from areas of life where they feel unfulfilled: it seems that the right weight will bring happiness. But once the goal is reached, the bar simply drops lower. So emotional overeating grows into compulsive eating, and control over food turns into constant anxiety around it.
Four types of disordered eating
The boundaries here are wider than they seem. Most people meet someone with anorexia or bulimia once or twice in a lifetime — but people with disordered eating are all around us.
1. Restrictive
Eating “by prohibition”:
- constant thoughts about food, weight, and losing weight;
- frequent weigh-ins and a mood tied to the number on the scale;
- a feeling of being “fat”;
- anxiety around food and guilt over what's been eaten;
- the habit of comparing yourself to others by weight;
- the urge to lose weight when it's normal or already low;
- obsessive diets, breakdowns, and overeating after restriction.
Extreme forms: anorexia nervosa, bulimia, orthorexia.
2. Emotional
Food as a way to numb feelings — fatigue, sadness, aggression, boredom, loneliness, anxiety. Frequent raids on the fridge without hunger, when food accompanies a person in any situation.
Extreme forms: night eating syndrome, binge eating.
3. External (externally cued)
Chaotic, unsystematic eating. Overeating amid abundance — feasts, birthdays, a buffet, or simply when food is in plain sight. This type grows out of an inability to focus on yourself and your sensations (which is why it's common, for example, with ADHD) and often “sticks” to the others: if you've restricted yourself all day, stopping at a friend's birthday will be hard.
4. General disturbances
- Distorted body image: in the mirror you see only the flaws, not the whole picture.
- Constant weight swings: jumps of 2–3 kg go unnoticed.
- Loss of hunger and fullness cues — your main internal signals.
The main trap: you might not suspect it's about you
The most unpleasant thing about disordered eating is that a person rarely gets help. And not because there's nowhere to get it, but because they don't realize there's a problem. “Well, I overeat on holidays,” “I weigh myself every morning,” “I don't eat after six” — each sounds like the norm until it adds up to a system that runs your life.
What to do about it
The good news: disordered habits can be dealt with before they become a disorder. The core of an eating disorder is excessive attention to the body and its shape and a loss of control over your own state. The sooner you notice this shift, the easier it is to reverse.
What helps:
- Make food neutral again. There are no “forbidden” foods — there are your preferences, habits, and context. A 1500-calorie menu doesn't solve this problem, it makes it worse.
- Learn intuitive eating — hear hunger and fullness again instead of checking a tracker.
- Find the cause, not the symptom. If emotions and anxiety are at the root, changing the menu is pointless — you need to work with eating behavior.
That's what my “Reset” program is built on: we don't go on a diet — we restart your habits and relationship with food, from scratch, tailored to you, accounting for age, weight, gender, and pace of life.
Food is not the enemy
Food nourishes the body, gives energy, and shapes relationships with people. Fitness trackers and extreme diets made us forget that — and turned a simple act into a source of anxiety. Recognizing harmful beliefs about food and the body, and getting back your sense of hunger and fullness, is often enough for eating behavior to start recovering.
I've walked this road myself: from 140 kg and dozens of breakdowns to my second year of simply not thinking about weight. And I know the problem from both sides — from the inside, as a person, and professionally, as a certified eating-disorder specialist.
Quick FAQ
Is disordered eating a diagnosis?
No. It's a state between healthy eating and a clinical eating disorder. There's no diagnosis, but the signs of a disorder are already there — and that's the best moment to step in.
Is a diet disordered eating?
Often yes. Harsh restrictions sharply raise the risk of an eating disorder and almost always end in a breakdown and weight regain.
Can you manage without a specialist?
Sometimes yes — if you catch it early and make food neutral again. But when emotions and anxiety are at the root, help from an eating-behavior specialist speeds things up and lowers the risk of breakdowns.